Im terribly afraid that Ive killed a man

A quick story this morning, not really the sort of thing I imagined I would be writing about, but it may assist my defense if I tell my story now, before any charges are filed.

I recently started using Dr Hauschka for my face. Gone are the days of glycerine soap and gentle moisturizer, Ive found that my face needs a bit more pampering now. It’s not easy to find a non toxic lotion that is also gentle enough for my skin, but Dr Hauschka has been working well, although it’s a bit pricey.  I can buy it at Whole Foods, but somehow, it’s cheaper if I buy it directly from the website and have it delivered.

So my little box arrives and it is filled with packing peanuts to protect its precious cargo. These packing peanuts, I thought, looked just like organic cheese puffs. I knew right away what I had to do. I took a handful and put them in a sandwich baggie for Mr Bebe’s lunch.

my kitchen at 6am

I felt a twinge of guilt of course, but as I saw it, there was really nothing else that could be done. One cannot simply ignore an opportunity like this.
My assumption was that he would take one out and as soon as he touched it he would know that they weren’t edible. He would be disappointed for a moment or two, denied cheesy goodness, but he would heal.

Can you see where this is going? As it turned out, he ate one. Then three. Then, in a move I didn’t anticipate, he gave some to one of his colleagues who also ate a few. He said he found them tasteless and he wanted his friend to try them to see if he agreed. Then he left the bag around the office in case anyone wanted to finish them.  When he told me this I didn’t know whether to be proud at the success of my practical joke or worried that I may have just poisoned several people- It never crossed my mind that he would actually eat them. “you didn’t know, when you were eating them, they weren’t even food?” I asked him. He told me that he just thought they were organic.

Mr Bebe made it through the night with out any sort of acute distress but his colleague wasn’t at work this morning, and although that’s not unusual, I have packed a few bags in case I need to make a run for it.

I would not do well in prison. It looks worse than camping.

11 thoughts on “Im terribly afraid that Ive killed a man

    1. He did make a vague reference to retaliation but Im not worried- my observational skills,especially on the homefront, are Sherlockian in nature. It’s one of my only talents, but useful


      1. Our respective governments are missing out on some major talent by not recruiting us.
        …..or maybe we have been….
        Lord Peter Whimsey employed mature single ladies to help in his detecting because he thought women made the best detectives. His “cattery” posed as a secretarial agency.


  1. No cause for alarm Bebe as the packing peanuts are unsalted. If he feels a little queasy, have him try Dr Hauschka’s rejuvenating mask whose nurturing oils and extracts will calm irritation.
    Well done my dear!


    1. Thank you gsl, Im glad you approve because if things heat up around here I may need to find someplace to lay low for a while – could you use a girl Friday?


      1. I was a bit reckless with my grammar there, and it almost got me into a delicate situation.
        I meant Girl Friday.
        I shall be giggling about this all day….


  2. Absolutely dying! This is the sort of stupid thing I do. A few weeks ago in Starbucks, I sat at the counter at the window with the tall chairs and for a ‘laugh” I pulled over one of the wee kiddie chairs for hubs. He came over with the two coffees and just plumped down without looking, down and down and down to my knee level followed by a sprawl into onto floor. What a fiasco, it turn into a full argument and very bruised bottom and ego.


    1. How funny!
      Oh dear- they do get so upset when they look silly, don’t they? I don’t know why. Perhaps it is a feeling of betrayal that ruffles their feathers-deep down they think we are only supposed to make them look manly.


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