Snow again! I will not bore you with even more tales of woe regarding the winter pummeling we are taking here in New England because I don’t want to get monotonous and I do want to get in the Spring state of mind. It may not actually come til late May, but I will keep my eyes on the prize. We are getting little tastes of warmer days to come, as if Mother Nature was saying “No, no-put down that pill bottle! Don’t kick out the chair. The bleak winter will end soon!” Of course, we all know Mother Nature does like a laugh…

We have enjoyed a day or two here and there when the temp got into the 50’s (!) That’s when these happened:

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‘Oh! Is it time for us to sprout? Thank goodness, we have been waiting forever! Wait-this isn’t Spring. Oh no!….”

*Warning! The next picture is NSFPWWF ( Not Safe for People With White Furniture)!*

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In the Spring a walk outside becomes an ordeal because upon our return we must scrub off the undercarriage. X2 dogs-(Sugar won’t allow her picture to be taken when she is untidy)

But speaking of sunshine, the beautiful Tabitha at Bourbon & Pearls, the one and only, nominated me for the Sunshine Award. As a recipient I am to reveal a list of 11 tidbits about myself. I was so excited that I made an acceptance speech to the pooches. But then I realized that I would have to reveal a list of 11 tidbits about myself. This is not the sort of thing I do easily, because I am a bad liar and a list full of taradiddles would be far more entertaining. But everyone else has been honest so I will be too.

1. I have no practical knowledge of the words qualitative and quantitative. Oh sure, I know what they mean,  but I cannot use them in conversation because I draw a blank. Many years ago they were stored in some now defunct part of my brain and try as I might to release them, they are stuck. I will go through life without them.

2. I want to marry into an aristocratic family. I know, it’s hard when you are already married. I don’t want to align myself with the Windsors or anything but a family with a title, a coat of arms, a large ancestral home, a house in the city. I am not bothered with the husband-marry the first time for love, the second for money I say. Is the Laird of Glenbogle still single?

break-Im not so sure this was a good idea. After only two entrys I have portrayed myself as both stupid and shallow. But in the true, hearty spirit of my ancestors, I will press on.

3. Every Friday night I make homemade pizza. My favorite so far is butternut squash, caramelized onions, ricotta and bacon. I also made one with dollops of mashed potato with cheddar cheese and bacon that was tasty. I make the dough half whole wheat, it still looks white but it is a bit heartier.

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4. I have no thyroid gland. It was causing trouble- it thought it would take over the show so I had to take a hit out on it. I had to swallow a pill of radioactive iodine which necessitated a short vaca  while the heat died down. In other words I had to stay at our cottage for a few days all by myself because I couldn’t be around people due to the radioactivity. Weird, no? Now I have to take a pill every morning to compensate for the distinct lack of thyroid.

5. I am not a vegan but it is easier to say than “I eat high-nutrient, plant based foods every day but two or three times a month I will eat delicious steak and I do have milk in my morning coffee”. And if you read this blog you are familiar with my carnivorous dalliances

6. When I was about 23 or so I joined the navy. But before I could start they told me the navy MD heard a heart murmur on my physical so they rejected me. Maybe my heart was quivering at the idea of joining the navy…

7. Before I was married, I was a paramedic. Created to be a prehospital extension of the emergency physician, most people think of them as ambulance drivers. People would say “oh, you drove an ambulance?” to which I would reply “Not if anyone was sick”. I am particularly adept at starting an IV in difficult circumstances and had an affinity for cardiology. It was a hard and sometimes dangerous job and has never been accurately portrayed on film which is always irritating. You know all those things that an ER doctor yells on tv when a patient is rolled in? Well in real life they have already been done, sans yelling, in the back of a moving ambulance, or while kneeling on broken glass on the side of the highway. Suck it, House.

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I was an EMT for the city before I gave it all up to move into the country and start a family (not in that order)

break again-I doubt I have redeemed myself. Now I am coming off as a man. If you could see me you know that is indeed, not the case. Let’s see if I can turn this around:

8. Here comes the crazy: I hate showers. Oh, I will take them of course because I am a very germ-adverse neatnick. But bathtubs, drains, shower walls,- I cant stand having any contact with any of them. Dont even like to look at ’em. I will never use someone else’s and I cannot use a hotel shower without a shot of whiskey and flip flops. When we moved in I had the entire bathroom torn out and replaced. I scrub the shower at least once a week and you will never see me sit in a tub. I can’t even look at a hottub, its just a big vat of human soup.

9. I don’t eat fish. Nothing that swam in, crawled around, or undulated through the ocean . Strange for a New Englander, I know. But to me they are all just bugs that swim. And who was the first person to look at a lobster and say ‘yum’. Can’t even stand the smell of seafood.

break 3-nope, just shallow, manly and crazy. Maybe I should make some things up. Bah-too late now

10. I can recite the entire Preamble to the Constitution. Thank you, Schoollhouse Rock

11. I went to college in Texas and loved it there so much that I was branded: I have a little tattoo of texas on my…….actually never mind. That’s 11, right?

ps nominations to follow. Get ready Blue Booby, Jody Brettkelly and Admiral Cod..

 

16 thoughts on “

  1. You know I am a typical southerner who was whining about the dusting of snow this morning. I have been gardening so enthusiastically that I can not raise my arms. I find these insights fascinating. I can not remember the word wallet these days..it’s the thingie that holds my money. Have you ever tried a lemon pizza? I have seen recipes but am a bit afraid. Let me know if it’s any good. P.S. You definitely deserved the shout out from Tabs…much love.

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    1. Thank you BlueBooby! Oh Im jealous- you have been gardening?! I haven’t heard of lemon pizza but now I am intrigued. Im certain that anything can go on a pizza these days-I saw one made with scrambled eggs at Whole Foods last week. This lady and I kept staring at it distrustfully, as if it were about to steal our thingies that hold our money

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  2. I’ll arrange to be at the next table on your 1st date with the Laird of Glenbogle as you enchant him with breathy whisperings, of heart murmurs, thyroid surgeries, and tattoos.

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      1. Well I just have an aristocrat’s queasiness to all things medical- kind of like your tub & shower aversion. You could have that Laird simpering like a lovesick pup with some Bebedoll perfumed prose sans the EMT shoptalk.

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  3. Paramedic? Tattoo of Texas? Terrified of bathing facilities? I love it!
    I also don’t eat fish because I had food poisoning that was so terrible I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, from salmon I cooked (actually overcooked) myself.
    My family has a coat of arms and I have a couple of cousins you can marry, let me know when you’re ready.

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    1. Oh my goodness-that food poisoning story is horrifying! Poor Dani! See how wrong fish are?-they can poison you when they are OVER cooked!
      I am intrigued about your coat of arms. Lucky! I will take you up on the offer of a cousin-would they mind about Mr Bebe, do you think?..

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      1. They won’t mind, did I mention this is an old french coat of arms? Plenty of drunkards and ridiculousness, the coat of arms lives on as a giant tat on the giant arm of one of my first cousins, hmm actually he’s vegan and a music video producer quite famous, there might be something there!

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  4. Spooky! I cannot stand fish, I never ever take a shower, I also eat meat once or twice a month but eat the same way you do the rest of the time. We had an ancestral pile – pile being the word, it takes an awful lot of upkeep to live in a smelly drafty old home and then first male gets it and it goes forward to another branch, whilst the girls who were brought up in the house stare on in rage.
    And number one? I don’t not have a clue about the meaning of those words, will have to look them up.

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    1. I am convinced we share kin. There are too many coincidences! Our pile is gone too, there was even a secret garden with beautiful plants and pine trees planted in rows so there was a path between. My father still threatens to leave the rest to my younger brother..

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    1. I’ll not gloat at having long ago noticed a striking kindred spirit affiliation between you two because that’s what I do.

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  5. No sushi? No fish and chips?? Hehe

    This was a lot of fun and I had to laugh bc just as I was wondering if perhaps you were a bloke you corrected me!! Ah yes, a laird…just make sure you don’t marry into a British one bc they seem to be forever talking about leaking roofs!

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    1. Indeed-I will have to inspect the architecture before I show up at the church. Otherwise I may find myself pointing chimneys and hauling slate up several stories. But I am renovating the house we live in now, and I dont get to enjoy a title for my trouble…

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